


are you kidding me phil

by anetherealmelody



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Fluff, Fluff without Plot, Gen, Light-Hearted, Seriously too much fluff, Texting, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, phil tries to reform his children, technoblade is confident he'd beat wilbur in a fight, tommy is obsessed with caps lock, tubbo is behind on his homework, wilbur wants his beanie back
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:14:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27748849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anetherealmelody/pseuds/anetherealmelody
Summary: It's not Tommy's fault that he really likes Wilbur's beanie. It's not Wilbur's fault that he wants to murder a thief. It's not Tubbo's fault that he's days behind on his reading. It's not Techno's fault that he's superior to all of his siblings.It kind of IS Phil's fault that they're all together in the first place.
Relationships: Dave | Technoblade & Toby Smith | Tubbo & Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, Dave | Technoblade & TommyInnit, Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, TommyInnit & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit
Comments: 14
Kudos: 393





	are you kidding me phil

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not entirely sure what this is, to be honest. I just wanted to write a lot of fluff and I've always wanted to write a text fic, sooo...here we are. :D

wilbur: tommy

tommy

tommy

TOMMY

Phil: Wilbur?

wilbur: TOMMY

tubbo: tubbo:D 

wilbur: TOMMY

Phil: Hey Tubbo

wilbur: T O M M Y 

tubbo: hi phil!

wilbur: where is he

Phil: Did you finish your maths yet, Tubbo?

wilbur: tell me where he is right now

wilbur: or i’ll kill every last one of you

technoblade: you couldn’t kill me if you tried

wilbur: you don’t know that

technoblade: yes i do

Phil: Yes he does

tubbo: ^^^

wilbur: whose side are you on

techonblade: anarchy’s

Phil: My own, probably

tubbo: tommy’s side!

wilbur: i despise you, tubbo

tubbo: :(

wilbur: a friend of tommy is a mortal enemy of mine

tubbo: ok but i want to be your freind!

wilbur: traitors. the lot of you.

tubbo: @Phil i forgot to start :(

Phil: Meaning you’ve been on your phone

wilbur: WHERE IS HE TECHNOBLADE

technoblade: how would i know

wilbur: I KNOW YOU SAW HIM LAST

Phil: Relax with the caps

wilbur: YOU ALWAYS USE CAPS

Phil: Only one. At the start of a sentence. Like a normal person

You know who does always use caps, though?

wilbur: TELL ME WHERE HE IS

tubbo: no phil i wasn’t on my phone! i was reading a book! :D

Phil: On TikTok?

tubbo: their are no books on tiktok!

and i don’t even like tiktok!

wilbur: TELL ME NOW

technoblade: why do you even care

Phil: Start right now, Tubbo

wilbur: BECAUSE I AM ANGRY

tubbo: i will start phil!

Phil: Do you really have to use this gc, Wilbur? Leave me and Tubbo out of your drama. He still needs to graduate

technoblade: i didn’t graduate

Phil: Yes but

Well there’s actually nothing to say

wilbur: he’s disappointed in you

you know how you can redeem yourself?

technoblade: idk where he is. leave me out of your drama.

Phil: He still needs to graduate.

wilbur: i will murder all of you

technoblade: i’m telling you

you can’t kill me

wilbur: i can

technoblade: with what weapon

wilbur: drugs

tommy: DRUGS

I KNOW DRUGS

I LOVE DRUGS AND DO THEM ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tubbo: TOMMY :D

Phil: That hurts my eyes to read

technoblade: he was summoned by the drugs

wilbur: THERE YOU ARE 

YOU STUPID *****

*****

technoblade: what 

was that

wilbur: what the ****

Phil: Oh, right

I forgot to tell everyone

I made our group chat family friendly

tommy: WHAT

Phil: Caps, Tommy

But yes

Every time you type a swear it will automatically ****** it out

technoblade: are you kidding me phil

tommy: WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT

wilbur: i think it's an incredible idea

as long as you change it so i can swear

Phil: I will not be doing that

wilbur: well then

as long as it angers the child

tommy: I AM NOT ANGRY

I AM ONLY BETRAYED

THIS IS WORSE THAN WHEN ERET BLEW UP MY HOUSE 

technoblade: that was seven years ago

also it was made of cardboard

tommy: IT WAS HORRIBLE

PHILZAMINECRAFT

WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME

Phil: Because it’s high time you watered down your vocabulary

tommy: WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN

Phil: Tommy

tommy: WHAT

Phil: Caps.

tommy: BUT I AM ANGRY

technoblade: i thought you were not angry

Phil: You’re acting like Wilbur

tommy: HOW DARE YOU

wilbur: how dare you

tommy: JINXFS WILBUR!!

JINX

YOU OWE ME $$$

Phil: Stop using caps

wilbur: i now realize the error of my ways

i do not want to text like the child

tommy: I AM NOT A ******* CHILD

THIS IS SO ******* ANNOYING I WANT TO ******* KILL YOU ALL STAB YOU ALL WITH ALL MY KNIVES AND I HAVE MANY  DON'T YOU WORRY I HAVE MANY

***** ****** **** *******

Phil: Oh, I like this

tommy: I HATE THIS

wilbur: no more caps for me

i am reformed

tubbo: i am reading!

Phil: Tubbo

tubbo: i am putting my phone down!

wilbur: tommy you better ****** give me my beanie back

tommy: WHAT BEANIE

wilbur: i know you have it

technoblade: is all of this seriously because of a beanie

tommy: WHAT BEANIE

I DON’T KNOW NOBODY

Phil: Caps.

wilbur: i will rip you apart limb by limb tommy

not even techno will be able to save you

technoblade: i mean i probably could

wilbur: he could not

technoblade: i mean i probably could

tommy: to be fair, he probably could

wilbur: GIVE IT BACK TOMMY

Phil: I thought you were reformed?

wilbur: give it back tommy 

immediately

or you will die a gruesome death

tommy: philzaminecraft

wilbur: TOMMY

Phil: Tommy

tommy: are you hearing this

Phil: Yes

tommy: and????

Phil: And????

tommy: ????

Phil: ????

tommy: WOW

FINE

philzaminecraft

Phil: Spit it out or I'm telling Wilbur where you're hiding

tommy: YOU WOULDN'T

wilbur: WHAT

YOU KNOW????

Phil: Yes

wilbur: AND????

Phil: And????

wilbur: ????

Phil: I'm having a strong sense of deja vu

wilbur: wow

fine

i'll find the child myself

i'll reclaim my beanie

and then i'll kill him

Phil: Ok

What were you going to say, Tommy?

tommy: I DON'T TRUST YOU ANYMORE

Phil: Ok

tommy: I'M NOT GOING TO TELL YOU

Phil: Ok

tommy: YOU DON'T DESERVE TO KNOW

Phil: Ok

tommy: IT WAS A QUESTION ACTUALLY BUT I'M STILL NOT TELLING YOU BECAUSE I ******* HATE YOU

Phil: Ok

technoblade: five

four

three

two

tommy: HOW DARE YOU REMOVE THE SWEARS PHIL

technoblade: one

tommy: HAVE YOU BEEN SCHEMING WITH BADBOYHALO 

Phil: Is that your question?

tommy: YES

Phil: No

tommy: WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO

Phil: No I haven't talked to Badboyhalo

I just consulted the depths of my own conscience

technoblade: so you got it from that parenting handbook

Phil: No

What parenting handbook

tommy: YEAH

WHAT BEANIE

!!!!!!!!!

Phil: I consulted the depths of my own conscience

And decided that swearing is bad

Unless I do it

wilbur: what about me

Phil: On occasion

techno: what about me

Phil: In select circumstances

tommy: what about me

Phil: Absolutely not

tommy: WHAT

Phil: Never

tommy: WHY

wilbur: i like this

tommy: THIS IS A CRIME

wilbur: i like this a lot

tommy: THIS IS UNJUST DISCRIMINATION

wilbur: but it is not punishment enough

he stole my beanie

there is only one viable solution

tubbo: what about me phil? :D 

Phil: What about you

tubbo: can i swear?  :D

Phil: Go read

tubbo: reading is hard :(

tommy: what assignment is it tubbo

i’ve just finished the one from last friday

Phil: You just what?

tommy: don’t worry about it philzaminecraft

Phil: Last FRIDAY?

tommy: CAPS

wilbur: caps

technoblade: hypocrite

tommy: JINX AGAIN WIL

YOU NOW OWE ME DOUBLE $$$

tubbo: tommy i am just confuzed on the annotatiens

tommy: i will send them

give me a second to find the sheet

Phil: Are you cheating?

tommy: don’t worry about it philzaminecraft

wilbur: i am going to kill you tommy

Phil: Can I worry about that?

tommy: don’t worry about it philzaminecraft

Phil: I wouldn’t have, anyway

technoblade: i’ll protect you tommy 

for a price

tommy: I’M NOT THROWING AWAY MY DRUGS

Phil: This is not Hamilton

tubbo: that is not a hamiltin line?

Phil: READ

technoblade: smh

wilbur: caps

tommy: CAPS

JINX

TRIPLE $$$

tubbo: dont worry about it philzaminecraft

**Author's Note:**

> May continue if I get any inspiration / ideas to, hahah. Thanks for reading, as always! <3


End file.
